Mind strengthening

It's nearly impossible to bypass that giant scale near the entrance of the gym! I need to drink a liter of water before I go in; that way I won't be tempted to get on the scale before weigh-in day. However, stepping on the scale this morning was quite a nice surprise. I'm down to 247! This shouldn't surprise me terribly for a couple of reasons. 1) I've been KILLIN' it this week! Food, exercise, resisting temptations... 2) It's definitely water weight that I've shed (which I will absolutely take). However, my food intake could be much, much better. The main problem is the fact that this is the last week of classes and everything has been SO hectic. BUT, I have persevered and brought lunch or snacks with me every day this week. That in and of itself is a huge improvement for me. I don't leave home without a safe snack so that I'm not tempted to eat whatever is around which of course is generally junk which leads to a downward spiral.

I didn't want to measure my success by the scale, but I need the scale. Otherwise, I let my eyes and brain trick me into thinking nothing is happening which is just not true. EVEN if the scale shows a 1 pound decrease, it's an improvement from staying where I am or moving up.

This coming weekend presents another challenging one. Tonight there will be drinking and Mediterranean food, and tomorrow there will be sweets and drinking. But I have my secret weapon!
Mental preparation. I am already mentally preparing to not drink tonight or tomorrow. I've got a response for people who ask why I'm not drinking. 1) It's crunch time! I've got a wedding dress to look amazing in. And the purpose of one drink for me is to have another. I'd like not to waste those calories. I'd also like to avoid wondering what the scale would look like had I not indulged!

So wish me well on this weekend mind strengthening exercise, because I'm gonna need it!

Victory!

Last night one of my dear friends moved back to Florida from Cali, so it was a huge gathering! I'd decided that I would drink only one night this month and that's when we go out to celebrate my best friend's birthday. 

NOT drinking socially was a HUGE challenge! But I did it and as a result ended up drinking *90* ounces of water instead. 

That's how I felt about that. What a HUGE success for me! The majority of the weight that I've gained in the past 3 years has definitely been the result of too much alcohol and subsequent shitty eating. When I wanted to get serious about getting back into shape back in September, October and November were filled with weekends where drinking would be the norm. Food and Wine Fest, a night of dancing, birthday parties, etc. Land mines abound! I didn't think that I'd be able to avoid drinking at those events. Welp, that is demonstrably untrue. I've done it before. It just takes mental preparation before the event and a cup constantly filled with water. I look forward to reporting back after next Friday and Saturday night's festivities! 

I've got to learn to deal with the land mines instead of feeling they are inevitable. They are not. But what is inevitable is the passage of time and that August 6th I can either be happy with my progress or disappointed in myself for not being more disciplined. I'd prefer to be happy with my determination and progress!

It begins...

I thought that having access to a gym at my apartment complex would be just as good as having a membership. INcorrectamundo! 

After having gone to a gym for so long and having had access to a variety of machines for weight training, the gym at the apartment just doesn't cut it. I need to drive to the gym and have no excuses not to work out or cutting it short once I get there. 

Today I started with 11 minutes and 30 seconds on the elliptical and clocked .5 miles before I started my weight training regimen. 

Chest press 15, 20, 25, 30, 25

Shoulder press 5, 10, 15, 20, 15

Arm curl 20, 25, 30, 35, 30

Triceps pull down 10 kg (22), 12.5 kg (27), 15 kg (33), 20 kg (44), 15 (33) kg

Back 20, 25, 30, 35, 30

I could stand to up the weights for my arms and back.

It felt good to be back at the gym. Now Monday morning is going to be a challenge. 6:00 am workout time! I have to workout early in the morning and first thing. That way, no matter what happens during the rest of the day my workout isn't affected!

Once again

I've come to the point where I feel super uncomfortable in my body. I've gained 40+ pounds in 3 years! What the heck. I don't know where my sexy walk went, and I don't know where I put my confidence. It's probably buried under those layers of unhealthy eating and drinking way more than I used to and definitely way more than I should.

The times that I succeeded the most were when I blogged and noted everything that I ate. This is definitely crunch time because I do NOT want to hate my wedding pictures for the rest of my life! I want to love the way I look in my photos! And if I truly am going to get pregnant again, I definitely don't want to do it with all of this weight.

I can feel the difference that these pounds make on my body. I can't stand for as long as I used to, it's killing my lower back to wash DISHES. That is a completely unacceptable feeling. I don't know why I keep holding myself back. I know how to get the body I want. I know how to maintain it as well! Now it all comes down to just forcing myself. I know how this ends. Diabetes runs rampant in my genes. I started this journey 10 years ago for that exact reason; because my grandmother died because of it, her sister died because of it. I don't want that same fate.

So here's to rising above the ashes and creating a new me!